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10 Songs/Albums That Have Meaning to Me

2006-07-25T12:28:00.000-07:00

Coal Miner's Daughter Loretta Lynne-When I was little I used to sing this song pretending to be her up on stage.
Victory in Jesus-This was my favorite song to sing at church when I was little.
Jaws Theme Song-I snuck down from my bed and sat on the stairs while my parents were watching this movie and was literally scarred for life, to this day I can hear the song in my head whether I'm in the ocean or a swimming pool.
Grease Soundtrack-My sister and I used to put this album on and pretend to be the characters of the movie when we were little. I can't even count how many times I've seen this movie, it was one of our favorites.
Slippery When Wet Bon Jovi-This was the very first cassette tape that I ever owned. I received it as a gift at my 10th birthday party, it was my first slumber party.
Love is Alright Rick Springfield-This was the song that we performed our pom pon routine to when we won the state championship my junior year of high school.
Crazy, Sexy, Cool TLC-My girlfriends and I always listened to this album while driving around in the car that I had gotten for my 16th birthday.
In the Arms of an Angel Sara McLachlan-This song was popular at the time when I lost my grandfather to cancer and the lyrics to the song comforted me.
Rocky Top Tennessee-My dad is from Tennessee and so this song is played at every event involving his side of the family.
There You Are Martina McBride-This was the song that I had chosen to walk down the aisle to at my wedding. Three months before it was to take place I called it off. Whenever I hear this song I think of what my wedding would have been like and the really difficult time I went through before and after I called it off.

All of these songs and the many more that I didn't actually list are important to me because they represent significant events or relationships in my life. Just like a scrapbook, they bring up memories...some good and some bad. I am the type of person that will listen to the lyrics of songs when they are played and if I am going through a difficult time I will find a song that best reflects what I am feeling. My favorite parts in movies or television shows are the musical montages and soundtracks. I love how the emotion of the characters and the story is expressed through the music playing throughout the scene. Just as certain places or smells can bring back certain memories, the same can be said for me with songs. Had I not limited myself to choosing just 10 I'm sure my list could've been quite long. At 28 years old I have many songs that reference the many memories I have made whether they are associated with a significant event, time, person or emotion. And with that being said I will hopefully have many more years to add to my collection.

Katie Roiphe, Profiles Encouraged

2006-07-11T13:08:00.000-07:00

Roiphe says, "the role of the movie-star profile is to reinforce and sell that stardom, not to examine or undermine it." (Profiles Encouraged, pg 378) Today you can pick up your remote control and flip the channel to MTV or VH1 and find shows such as "Cribs" which offers viewers a private tour of different celebrity homes to "The Fabulous Life of..." which each week profiles a different aspect of the extravagances that stardom affords celebrities. Pick up a magazine such as "US Weekly" and you can see pictures of various celebrities vacationing at the finest resorts, dining at posh restaurants and drinking at exclusive clubs. Along side the pictures, you can read a detailed accounting of the amenities that each establishment offers, the prices extended to those that partake and the popularity of each venue in the world of the Hollywood elite. These profiles aren't about the particular celebrity but more about the lifestyle that is afforded them through their celebrity status. I can honestly say that when I am watching these shows or reading these magazines I am not fantasizing about being that particular celebrity because I admire them on a personal level, it is quite simply an admiration and desire for the lifestyle that their fame and wealth affords them.

Along with people like me, there are also the people out there who through these movie-star profiles believe that they are actually getting to know the celebrity on a personal level by reading a three page interview given in hopes of promoting that particular celebrity's most current production. In fact, I work with a woman who fits this profile perfectly. Many of us follow the latest celebrity headlines along with the newest movie releases coming out at the theatre and often we'll have conversations about them between our cubicles. Not a conversation goes by without our afore mentioned coworker scooting her chair out to the middle of the aisle to give not only her opinion on the topic but also the opinion of the said celebrity as if she were their close personal friend. Often times it is a source of amusement for us because it's as if she actually believes that she can personally account for that celebrity. But in her defense I must say that most people in the world fantasize about living the life of the rich and famous and so whether you would say that the celebrity profile is for those that worship the fame or for those that worship the actual movie-star...there's something for everyone.

Open Blog for Friday July 7th-Zidane wins World Cup's best player award

2006-07-11T10:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, the Associated Press posted an article ('Zidane wins World Cup's best player award',http://msn.foxsports.com/soccer/story/5772720) announcing the Captain of France's World Cup team as the winner of the Golden Ball award after being selected by journalists as the best player of the soccer tournament. For anyone who watched the final game of the World Cup they would recognize him as Zinedine Zidane, the guy ejected by a red card from his last game before retirement for head-butting a player from team Italy during the second overtime. It was his last act as a professional player and one that was widely criticized in France and abroad. ('Zidane wins World Cup's best player award', Associated Press) With all of the criticism Zidane's behavior is getting, I have to say that I was surprised at the announcement.

Going into the World Cup I have to admit that I wasn't exactly familiar with the game of soccer. I didn't really set out to watch the series until my boyfriend became involved in an office pool which consisted of each person throwing in 10 dollars, drawing a team randomly out of a hat and winning a portion of the pot if they happened to draw a team that finished in first, second or third place at the end. So needless to say, the World Cup frequented the TV at our house. I couldn't help but watch, not only because I found it exciting but also because I was so surprised by how physically aggressive the players were towards eachother. I guess since soccer is a game played without the use of one's hands I had assumed that the players had no need to touch eachother. I was wrong, although they don't use their hands to control the ball they do use them to kick, punch, shove, pinch, etc. their opponents throughout the game.

I understand that the player's love for the game and competitiveness can sometimes cloud their judgment. These men represent their country and it is more about pride than the actual game itself. Zidane is the only one who has to live with the fact that he was unable to finish the last game of his career in the finals of the World Cup, he is the one who will question himself for his lack of control in the final minutes of overtime and wonder how things would've turned out differently for him and his team had he just walked away. Still it bothers me that this man was presented an award for being the best player of the finals. To me, the best player is someone who excels not only in their physical performance but also demonstrates the professionalism and sportsmanship of someone who realizes the importance and honor of being chosen as a representative for their country and the sport they love. I realize that he was the captain of France's team and a world renowned soccer player but why would you vote him as the best player when in the final minutes of the game he failed to pull through for his country and his team?

Comerica Tastefest

2006-07-11T10:25:00.000-07:00

I attended the Comerica Tastefest for the first time this year. I

Clustered Readings: Focus on the Wedding, Leffel and The New York Times

2006-07-07T12:29:00.000-07:00

When I first read the essay describing the video-teleconferenced wedding of Victoria Dunn and Terrance Jones I had to laugh...What will people think of next? Although this type of wedding ceremony is not considered typical or common, it is still safe to say that technological advances in our culture have even affected the planning of a good old fashioned wedding. Weddings have come from being very simple affairs to being huge, elaborate and expensive productions. Brides and grooms spend at least a minimum of a year to plan what is considered to be an average, no frills wedding today. Part of the reason for weddings today becoming such grand affairs has to do with the technological advances we've seen in recent years. The internet allows many of us to connect with any individual or company anywhere in the world, it gives us many more options when planning an event. If a bride wants a certain flower in her bouquet that happens to be out of season in the States, she can very easily hop on her computer to find an overseas vendor that can accommodate her request. Not only is the internet available to us in our homes but it is available to us at work and through many cell phone carriers. The blackberry is a popular model of an all inclusive gadget that acts as a cell phone, PDA and hand held computer. You can very easily connect with anyone at anytime, so essentially you are able to plan your wedding 24 hours a day for 7 days a week. With technology providing unlimited resources and options, weddings today have a potential to be much larger and much more elaborate. Usually weddings are the one day that is considered "the bride's day" and applying that theory often leads to spending splurges. Technological advances today provide the bride with so many more options to make her day that much more special and as a result the word "splurge" takes on a whole new meaning.

David Sedaris, The End of the Affair

2006-06-27T13:38:00.000-07:00

In Sedaris' essay he jokes about how the classic love stories that we see in the movies usually end with a tragic death or separation, it seems to be a required element of this type of story. These love stories and their tragic endings that make us sob are brought to the big screen to evoke emotion and are meant purely for entertainment value. They are not true stories, the screenplays are written by a professional writer or team of writers out to pen a movie that will hopefully gross millions of dollars. But so many of us that see these movies use them as some sort of standard of how our own relationship should be. We are constantly striving for "movie love" but we've never actually stopped to think of how ridiculous the notion is. Everyone should strive for happiness in life and in their relationships, and everyone that chooses to spend their lives with someone should never settle when looking for that person. However, we need to realize that the classic love stories that draw us to the box office should never be used as a standard by which we measure the success of our own relationships. These love stories always show a sudden death or tragic ending to enhance the storyline and entertainment value much like an action movie would show exciting stunts and visual effects, it's all about satisfying the viewers expectations. At a romance movie, the viewer is looking for an emotional connection to the characters and story. How many of us judge how good a romantic movie is by whether or not it made us cry?

My Thoughts on "Tarnation"

2006-06-20T16:38:00.000-07:00

"Tarnation" was disturbing to me for more than one reason. As a viewer it was disturbing for me to watch Jonathan trying to make sense of his life and where it all went wrong for his mentally disabled mother and himself but it was also disturbing for me because it hit close to home. My aunt was diagnosed as bi-polar schizophrenic almost 15 years ago at the age of 23. She is my mother's youngest sister and at the time she was diagnosed she was married with two small children both under the age of 3.

She was born when my grandmother was 37 years old, my grandfather was 43, my mother (who was newly married to my father) was 18 and my uncle was 12. I think it's safe to say that she was an unexpected arrival. Being that she was born much later than her siblings, my aunt was more like a childhood friend or cousin to myself and my siblings. She grew up with us, she was always at our house or we were always at hers. She was always a little wild, always challenging my grandparents which most would say was just a result of them having a third child so much later in life. She was the one who fought in school, cut class, smoked, drank and fooled around a little too much with the boys. These behaviors were considered harmless and were never looked at as anything more than childhood rebellion until they changed and became much worse.

About a year or so before she was diagnosed as bi-polar she was involved in a car accident, as a result of which she suffered a closed head injury. It was nothing serious, she lost consciousness for a moment or two and had to have a couple of stitches in her head but that was the extent of it. As time went on she started to display very manic behavior. She would experience times of extreme lows at which point she would take to her bed with severe depression followed by periods of extreme highs which would have her acting almost childlike with giddiness with a very short attention span, slightly neurotic. I was only about 13 at the time so I don't exactly remember all of the details of her diagnosis but I have experienced the effects that it has had on her and our family. My grandparents were supposed to experiencing what some would call their "golden years" but instead were practically raising her two children and trying to be supportive of her husband who was struggling financially. From the time that she was diagnosed she has been on every different medication you can think of because a persons system builds up an immunity to each one at some point and so the vicious cycle of starting a new medication and experiencing all of the ugly side effects it brings starts all over again. She has been institutionalized on many occasions, mostly after a failed suicide attempt and has experienced everything from an eating disorder to an addiction to pain killers following back surgery to numerous infidelities because a trait of her illness is that she displays obsessive/compulsive characteristics. As with most individuals suffering from bi-polarity she was later diagnosed as being schizophrenic. She has gradually moved on through the years from suffering mostly from manic episodes to more of the psychotic behavior such as hearing voices telling her that they want her to inflict pain on her body and at times telling her that they want her to kill herself.

It is truly a terrifying feeling to experience one of these "episodes", I myself have sat with her through one of them where she was being told by what she called evil spirits to kill herself. I don't really know which is scarier, watching her talk back to the voices that she hears in her head or the childlike personality that she takes on. Her illness has had a profound effect on those in her family. Her two children have both had behavioral problems and as of now have failed out of high school.

Open Blog, MySpace Being Sued for $30 Million

2006-06-20T12:29:00.000-07:00

MySpace is being sued over an alleged sexual assault of a 14-year-old girl. How is that possible? According to an article written today by The Associated Press, the 14-year-old girl and her mother are suing the popular Internet networking site for $30 Million stating that the site does not adequately protect their underage members from sexual predators. The girl claims that she was sexually assaulted by a 19-year-old man that she had met on MySpace, after he had gained her trust and phone number by lying in his personal profile on the site by stating that he was a 17-year-old high school student senior. The man was arrested last month and charged with sexual assault of a child but no further details of the alleged encounter have been released.

After reading this article I have one question. What about holding the parent(s) of the 14-year-old girl accountable? The parent(s) should be responsible for monitoring their minor child's Internet activity. The parent(s) should know who their child is socializing with and when. The parent(s) should be meeting any boy that they're 14-year-old daughter is dating or even thinking of dating, regardless of whether he's 17 or 19. You are the parent, not MySpace. It is your responsibility to police your child's activities and not anyone else's. I do believe that MySpace could take measures to enhance their security features solely based on the fact that the site is widely used by minors and therefore could be used as a means for sexual predators. MySpace should not be required to make these enhancements, it should be their choice and not because they are being held accountable for lack of actual parental control in each minor's household. If anything, the enhancements to security would benefit them for the simple fact that they would never have to deal with bogus lawsuits such as this one.

When asked for comment about the case, the chief security officer for MySpace had this to say:

"Ultimately, Internet safety is a shared responsibility. We
encourage everyone on the Internet to engage in smart Web practices and have
open family dialogue about how to apply offline lessons in the online world."
(The Associated Press, June 20, 2006, msnbc.com)

This may prove to be a tall order for some parents, not only will they have to actually involve themselves in the daily activities and associations of their children but they'll also have to learn how to operate the computer.

Charles Bowden, Last Meals and the People Who Eat Them

2006-06-13T13:42:00.000-07:00

According to Bowden, people do not contemplate their last meals in the same way as they would if they were to be asked the one thing that they would bring with them if stranded on a desert island. In order to contemplate the menu for your last meal would mean that you would have to contemplate your death. People feel more comfortable contemplating what one book or CD they would like with them if stranded on a desert island because there is no reality attached to it, people can fantasize about it because most likely it will never happen to them and if by chance it did there is always a chance for survival. Your last meal signifies just that, your last. There will be no others following it because you will no longer exist as a living, breathing person. Death happens to everyone at some point, it's inevitable and there's no escaping it. Although we know that it will eventually happen to all of us, we are left to contemplate the "how", "when" and "where" associated with our actual departure. So when pondering what your last meal would be it would only be natural for the mind to wander to the events surrounding your death, which is most likely an idea that few of us would actually want to entertain.
For many people, death religiously signifies the end of their physical existence and the beginning of their spiritual existence. Contemplating your own passing could very well lead most people on to thoughts of their relationship with God and their faith, and ultimately where their spiritual being will dwell for eternity. In Christian religion there is the belief in Heaven and Hell, one is a reward for those that have followed the path put forth by God and the other a punishment for those that have not. Religion is seen quite often as a topic that is taboo, both in conversation with others and in silent contemplation on your own. The talk of religion, the thoughts of Heaven and Hell and which one you'll most likely see make most uncomfortable. It is to many people something to be taken seriously, something that brings on feelings of fear or guilt. So the question of what your last meal would be will most likely not appear as part of one of those entertaining little questionnaires we so often get via email from our friends any time soon. It cannot be compared to the type of question asked about when pondering what entertainment material you would want when stranded on an island if given a choice. The question of your last meal is too thought provoking, too real and too final.

In Class Writing #2

2006-06-06T16:37:00.000-07:00

One of the more common assumptions about the function of a community, as listed in the text, would be that they provide a sense of stability to those individuals that are a part of it. Most people seek validation for their beliefs and behaviors, quite naturally one would surround themselves with others of the same mind set. By submerging ourselves within a community of people with the same interests, beliefs and behaviors, we get the validation and the sense of comfort we so naturally seek.
"Communities maintain stability by establishing traditions and standards of behavior for those who belong to them. Traditions and standards of behavior make it easier for community members to know which practices are acceptable and which are not." (Latterell, 88)
In Hostetler's essay, "The Amish Charter", he describes the principles for acceptable behavior within the Amish community. The rules for living within the community are in writing and very specific. By following these laws of the religion, they bring a uniformity to their group. Each person is able to identify another as a member of their community based on the standards of living associated with their belief system. Udovitch's essay, "A Secret Society of the Starving", tells of young women who are a part of the pro-ana community who believe that eating disorders are a personal choice and should not be classified as an illness. These young women congregate through the Internet to offer not only support to those with eating disorders but in many instances to also offer advice or techniques for their shared practice. Although it can be assumed that communities offer a sense of stability to those within the group, it can be argued that the impact is not always positive on the individual practicing. In the Amish community, the needs or desires of the individuals are never put before that of the religion. If a member within the Amish community looks to explore their personal interests outside the standards for behavior outlined by the religion, the individual is shunned by the community with no further contact with those that remain whether they be family or friends. This need for conformity hinders the ability of personal choice for the individuals within the community. The negative effect can also be seen with the young women of the pro-ana community, their high-risk behavior is only being encouraged and validated by those within their community at a cost to their personal health and well being. So while it can be assumed that communites offer a sense of stability to their members, it can also be argued that in some instances this allows the personal growth of the individual to be stunted.

Maya Angelou, Reclaiming Our Home Place

2006-06-06T11:56:00.000-07:00

According to Angelou, the South and what it represents for African Americans has changed in the last one hundred years. Many African Americans made the move to the North a century ago with the dreams of making better lives for themselves. The North, to them, represented an opportunity to prosper away from the cotton fields of the South where their freedom had yet to be accepted. The North held the ideas of freedom and equality and offered the chance for a fresh start...a new life.
In reality for many African Americans, the promise of the North never materialized and the migration proved to be disappointing. Angelou suggests that African Americans did not realize it but they were in exile in the North, they were not rebuilding what had been damaged in the south but simply packing up and relocating to a place that needed no repairs because that to them represented a better life than one in the South. Angelou credits the Civil Rights Movement with changing the negative view of the South for African Americans, helping to heal those old wounds that they all shared. The belief system had changed in the South, segregation had ended and they could return to their roots and reclaim their history. For many African Americans the South began to represent their heritage. This is where their ancestors had fought to survive, this was their inheritance and they owed it to them to come back and reclaim it. There were bound to be the painful memories of the people who had suffered as a result of their race but it was up to them to use that struggle as a building block towards their future in the South.

Mim Udovtich, A Secret Society of the Starving

2006-05-30T12:00:00.000-07:00

Udovtich's essay demonstrates the sense of community in those individuals that involve themselves in high-risk behavior. The sense of community is not strictly limited to those that we view as having a positive value system. This essay demonstrates the sense of community among the young women (and few young men) that can be classified as having an eating disorder. This group functions as a community by fulfilling the three assumptions explained in the text...it provides them with a sense of stability, it serves their needs and it accepts them for who they are. The majority of these young individuals suffer from an eating disorder not because they weigh too much but because they are lacking these feelings of acceptance and comfort in other aspects of their life. They feel as if they do not have control of any other area of their life so they control the one thing that they feel they can and that's their body's consumption.
This community offers a sense of validation to these girls, a place to stand up for themselves and their choices in life. These girls feel that this is the only place where they can tell the truth about how they really feel and actually have someone relate to them. If they were to share their feelings with anyone outside of their community they would never be related to, when they express their feelings of self loathing or share the fact that they have skipped a meal or two that day they would be judged instead of comforted.
On the other hand, this community can also be viewed as have detrimental results for these young girls. Because they have such a strong sense of acceptance they are not realizing the negative effects that their behavior has on them physically and psychologically. There is noone in their community looking at what causes this feeling of need for them to starve and/or purge themselves. There is noone in their community that is saying "Hey, I know exactly how you feel and it's not your fault that you feel this way but let's find out what makes you do this and let's get you the help that you need so that you stop hurting yourself.". This behavior is not just found in communities of young women with eating disorders, it can be found in any number of those with high-risk behavioral problems from drug use to alcoholism and so on. Although they are finding comfort and acceptance in the sense of community they feel with one another, they are not necessarily able to find the help that they obviously need.

In Class Writing #1

2006-05-23T17:46:00.000-07:00

In his quote Nietzsche is saying that part of our identity is being a follower in some sort of community or group, there are few of us that are the commanders but the majority of us are part of the flock that looks to the leader for guidance. Nietzsche suggests that we have followed this pattern for so long that it is now an innate characteristic of our being, that we actually crave the guidance of someone of a higher command than that which we view ourselves. We identify ourselves by the group that we associate ourselves with whether it be the nation we live in, the church we worship with or the family we are raised with. Our identity is not defined by our own person but in fact by obeying the commands associated with the group(s) that we find ourselves a part of. Neitzsche is saying that we all, no matter who we are, crave some sort of guidance in every part of our being.

In Emily White’s ‘High School’s Secret Life’ she touches on the point that Nietzsche tries to make by showing us how teens in high school can be compared to a tribe, how their sense of identity can be shaped by their place on the social totum pole. A high school is a prime example of a herd with few commanders and an overpowering number of followers. At that age, you will not find many that will take the position of leader for fear of failure. You will, however, find the opposite..many that will take on the position of the follower waiting for their next command. The follower wants to back in the warmth of acceptance and popularity but does not want the responsibility or reprocussions associated with navigating the lead.

Another example can be taken from Firoozeh Dumas’s essay called ‘The “F” Word’ in which she tells of changing her name from that of Iranian association to one of American association as a way to blend in with the group she has associated herself with, which is the American society. In this instance Firoozeh is following the command of the American culture which does not recognize names such as hers, names that are difficult to pronounce or differentiate from the norm for them. She is shaping her identity by adhering to a certain number of standards set before her, she is craving that guidance that helps her conform to the other followers.

In my opinion the notion of leaders and followers has only gained support with the developments associated with technology. The internet provides an even bigger forum for those that see themselves as commanders and as a more advanced resource for those seeking guidance. Both sides can use the internet to reach out to a broader social circle. Churches, activists, clubs, communities all have the means to expand their numbers, whether it be as a follower seeking leadership or as a commander seeking a congregation using the vast resources of the internet.

Firoozeh Dumas, The "F Word"

2006-05-23T10:49:00.000-07:00

In my opinion Dumas' use of the spice rack as a symbol in this essay could be thought of in a couple of different ways. The first and most obvious I would say would be that the spice rack symbolizes the different nationalities and cultures that make up the U.S. population. Each spice has it's own unique characteristics whether it be origin, taste or smell much like each nationality has it's country of origin which consists of a different culture than that of the U.S. with different foods, clothes, etc.. The rack holds all of these different spices together and while they may not be used to season the same dish, they coexist within the same rack.

My second thought for the use of the symbolization is that the spices are all very different in taste and some people may be uncomfortable if unfamiliar with the taste and unwilling to try something new to them so they do not use those specific spices on the rack, quite often they ignore those spices as if they didn't exist. In a way you can relate this to the trouble that Dumas speaks about with Americans mispronouncing the names of her and her family members. While many different nationalities make up the U.S., many Americans are uncomfortable with things that are unfamiliar to them. A name such as Firoozeh would label her as "unfamiliar" or "against the norm" for Americans and instead of "trying something new" by familiarizing themselves with something that is uncommon to them they would rather set it aside and ignore it and go on with what they feel comfortable with.

Analyzing the Text #2-Emily White, High School's Secret Life

2006-05-16T11:53:00.000-07:00

Evidence of White's argument that our social relationships help shape our personal identities can be found throughout the text however, the most obvious instance that supports her argument would be when she references the girl who is assigned to the second lunch period when all of her friends were assigned to the third. White says,

"One girl tells me about how she used to feel like she had friends, but then all her friends were assigned to third lunch and she was stuck in second by herself. The second-lunch destiny changed her idea of herself as a girl with friends. Now she sees her crowd only after school, and there are many stories she never hears, many plans she is left out of. She tries not to be bitter when she talks to me, but she's clearly troubled that there's no way to cross over into the third-lunch realm now, a realm as distant as the Emerald City."

This girl longs to be in the third lunch period with her friends because she views it as some sort of self validation, if she could only somehow get into that third lunch period then she would feel so much better about herself. By being in a different lunch period and not being included in the socializations of her friends in the third, she feels as if she has no friends. In truth, they are still her friends but by suddenly being separated from them for that lunch period she now looks at herself differently, as an outsider to a group that she once was a part of. Just the actual act of being with her group of friends defines her personal identity.

White also references the fact that the "popular kids" all look and dress alike, they all mimick eachother in appearance as a way of showing that they are not social outcasts but part of the socially elite. She says,

"Their conformity is remarkable: in haircuts, necklaces, the way they slouch, the way they use their voices. They all imitate one another because the imitation speaks of their power. In this context, conformity is not a cop-out but a way of broadcasting the fact that you aren't a weirdo, that you are speaking in the signs of the chosen ones."

This is the way that these kids define themselves both personally and to others. They want everyone to know that they are of high ranking on the social ladder. If they dress a certain way, wear their hair a certain way, talk a certain way then it must mean that they are popular and popular kids do not socialize with unpopular kids so not only is this a way to validate themselves as part of the group but this is also a way to differientiate themselves to those that are not.